For the Love of Naruto
by Fool of the World
Summary: After saving Chris's life, Naruto has been asked to be the bachelor in a bachelor-like spin off of Total Drama, with the twenty-six Total Drama girls as his possible bachelorettes! Who will win Naruto's love? Who will be eliminated first? And why has Naruto been having strange dreams of the ninja age? Rated M for fanservice, language, and sexual themes.
1. Every Man's Dream

**Hey there. I've been a (silent) reader of Naruto x Total Drama fanfiction for a while, especially the harem ones. This idea jumped into my head and I just knew I had to write it.**

**This story is about Naruto, a high school senior student who has recurring dreams/nightmares of being a ninja back in the Shinobi Age. Moving out of Japan and to Canada so he could find the answer to his dreams, he saves Chris McLean from a speeding car. To thank Naruto, Chris casts him as the bachelor for a Bachelor-like spin-off of Total Drama, with all twenty-six Total Drama females vying for his attention. If Naruto picks a girl, then he and the girl will win a million dollars together. To keep things from looking like Naruto is a home wrecker, all of the girls are currently single. The girls who had boyfriends at the time of Pahkitew Island will have an explanation as to why they're not still with them.**

**But there's a twist. Every "episode", which will be two-three chapters each, Naruto has to choose to eliminate one of the twenty-six girls. However, you guys will ultimately decide through a poll who will be eliminated each "episode." There will also be challenges each episode where three girls will win immunity and a group date with Naruto. You guys will get to vote on that via poll as well.**

**This fic is rated M for fanservice, language, and sexual themes. **

**Now, without further adieu, let's get this show on the road, shall we?**

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><p><strong>Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or total drama. Or I wouldn't be writing this fanfiction.<strong>

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><p><strong>Episode 1, Part 1: <strong>Every Man's Dream

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><p>Eighteen year old Naruto Uzumaki wasn't sure how he got in this situation, but he had become the contestant on a dating reality show. He never was the biggest fan of reality shows, but the fact that twenty-six girls would be competing for his affections felt like a fair trade off.<p>

How did it come to this? Naruto, upon insistence of his father, moved from Japan to America now that he was graduating high school. The reason for the move was to find a psychiatrist who could explain all of the dreams Naruto had been having ever since middle school.

He would have dreams that he was part of the age of ninjas, fighting in a mass war against an evil ninja by the name of Madara. He wasn't sure why, but Naruto felt as if the dreams were a little too realistic. They felt too familiar. That's why he had come to the west, to try and find someone who could decipher his dreams.

Things quickly changed, however, when Naruto saved a man named Chris McLean from a speeding car. He was the host of a reality show called Total Drama, one of the hottest reality shows in the world, which was also getting a spin-off called Total Drama Presents: The Ridonculous Race.

To show his gratefulness, Chris offered Naruto a role in the franchise's new dating reality show spin-off. Naruto would be living with the twenty-six female contestants from Total Drama Island, Action, World Tour, Revenge of the Island, All Stars and Pahkitew Island.

Naruto always thought he was fine looking enough. He stood at six foot, two inches. His muscular frame was developed from being a black belt in karate. He had messy blonde hair and piercing blue eyes. A unique birthmark that he had was in the shape of "whiskers" on his cheeks. He wore a black sleeveless shirt exposing his biceps with an orange spiral on the front and black shorts with an orange stripe running down both sides.

His athletic body, blonde hair, blue eyes, and optimistic charisma had earned Naruto a few admirers in Japan (especially since a blonde haired Japanese guy was pretty damn rare), but he never expected to be living with twenty-six girls and to be expected to fall in love with one of them.

As he stood outside of the mansion the twenty-seven of them would be staying at, he was pulled out of his thoughts by the voice of Chris McLean.

The host nudged the Japanese boy in the side, "Ready, Uzumaki? Excited?"

Naruto shrugged, "I guess so. I think it'll be fun."

"Oh, I agree," Chris snickered sadistically. Naruto cocked an eyebrow at him but didn't ask any questions.

Before Naruto could say anything else, Chris turned to the cameras and put on his usual cocky grin, "Hello, Total Drama fans! The name's Chris McLean, and this is the beginning of a beautiful spin off!"

"And-"

Naruto was cut off by the host, earning Chris a glare, but the host didn't seem to notice and continued, "This is Total Drama Romance! This season, after some discouraging break-ups behind the scenes recently, all twenty-six lovely ladies from the series will be competing for our bachelor's affections through challenges, dates, and elimination until only two remain! It's then that our bachelor will choose which lovely lady will be his one and only and the two will win one million dollars! Tell the audience your name, and make it quick!"

Naruto grinned at the camera and stated, "Sup? I'm Naruto Uzumaki from Shinjuku, Tokyo, and-"

"Great!" Chris interrupted him once again. Naruto's opinion of Chris was dropping by the minute. No, second.

"Who will find love?" Chris asked, "What drama will unfold? And who will be the first girl eliminated? Find out right here! On... Total! Drama! Romance!"

The two fell silent as Naruto sarcastically remarked at Chris's theatrics, "...Seriously?"

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><p>Once the theme song had rolled, Chris exclaimed, " And we're back! So, Naruto, are you ready to meet the girls?"<p>

"Might as well be," he grinned, "Bring it, dattebayo!"

"Datte-what now?" The host turned to look at the Japanese boy confusedly.

"It means- Oh, fuck it, that'd take too long to explain," Naruto shook his head. Just then the bus carrying the twenty-six contestants.

"First up is Amy and Samey!" Chris announced.

"Um, it's _Sammy," _one of the two girls nervously corrected him.

The first two off the bus were, to Naruto's surprise, twins. They both shared the same long, blonde hair and blue eyes. They also both shared their shapely frames and modest b-cup sized chests, accentuated by the red cheerleader outfits they were wearing. What made them able to be told apart was that one had a mole on one of her cheek's while the other didn't. The one with the mole, Amy, had a confident look on her face, while the one without, Sammy, had a less than comfortable look on her face.

Amy looked Naruto up and down once before her rosy red lips curled into a smirk, "Huh. Not bad. I could compete for you."

Naruto rubbed the back of his neck and chuckled sheepishly, "You two aren't half bad yourselves."

Sammy's eyes lit up at the compliment as she rubbed her arm shyly, "Um, thank you-"

"He didn't mean you, Samey," Amy sneered, "After all, you're just the younger twin. The clone-"

"Sammy, right?"

Both Amy and Sammy were shocked when Naruto addressed the more timid twin. She nodded in confirmation.

"Yeah?"

"You're just as cute as your sister," he said with a grin, just hoping to cheer her up a bit.

Sammy's face began to blush in gratefulness while Amy's began to burn red in anger. Before either twin could say anything, Chris exclaimed, "Move it along! We have twenty-four more girls to introduce! Next up is... Anne Maria!"

As the two girls reluctantly moved to stand behind Naruto in a line, the next girl exited the bus. She was short and a little chubby, but the chubbiness flattered her figure. Her skin was dyed an orange-tan due to her spray tan. She rose a can of hairspray in the air and sprayed her tall dark-purple hair, giving a smooch to the air. She adjusted her rose tank top to show off more of her ample, double-D sized cleavage, and pulled up her tight blue jeans around her wide hips, although they continued to still show a bit of her navel to the boy.

She walked up to Naruto with an air of confidence before wrapping her arms around his neck and spoke in a Jersey accent, "Hey, Doll. So you'se Naruto, right?"

Their lips rested only a few inches apart as Naruto swallowed and said, "Well, that's what my okaa-san says."

"Okaa-what?" she arched an eyebrow in confusion.

"My mom," he explained, simply."

"Ah, your Ma," she repeated, before sensually twirling her index finger around his back, "Well, dependin' how good you are, I might end up calling you daddy once this is all done with."

As she walked off to join the other two girls, Amy rolled her eyes, Sammy flashed red at Anne Maria's innuendo, and Chris tugged at his collar and twisted his legs to hide his slight arousal by her antics. Naruto, however, being raised in Japan just thought it was a cultural thing.

"Ahem," Chris cleared his throat, "Next up is... Beth!"

A green and pink blur sped out of the bus and latched herself onto Naruto. She was a very short girl with brown hair tied in a ponytail and black glasses. She wasn't the prettiest girl around, but she had a very sweet aura to her. However, despite her green vest revealing that she was very flat chested, her pink jeans showed that her hips could almost give Anne Maria a run for her money.

"It's so incredulous to meet you!" she exclaimed, before looking up at him, "Wow. You're Japanese, right? I've never seen a Japanese guy so tall before! Er- Not that that's bad or anything!"

Naruto have an uneasy laugh, "Don't worry about it." She might have been blunt and a little awkward, but he could tell she meant well. She continued the hug for a few moments before Naruto finally spoke up.

"Beth?"

"Yeah?"

"You're kinda crushing my spine."

The geek let go and flashed red, rubbing the back of her neck, "Err, sorry."

As Beth nervously went to stand with the others, Naruto chuckled and called back to her, "Don't worry about it, Dattebayo!"

"Girl number five is..." Chris gave a groan, "Not her. ANYONE but-"

"Blaineley Stacy Andrews O'Halloran is in the house!" An adult woman exclaimed as she exited the bus, "I bet you've been dying to meet me. I mean, I AM me, after all."

Naruto watched in amazement as the woman in her thirties swayed her hips as she walked towards him. Her hair and eyes reminded him of Amy and Sammy in a way; hell, even their figures were similar, only Blaineley's bust was much bigger than theirs, as the red dress she sported showed off her cleavage and pretty bangable behind in all of their glory. The one thing that Naruto noticed about her was that she seemed to have a girdle on, meaning she was a little chubbier than her body led on.

"...I'm sorry, but who are you?"

Most of the girls widened their eyes, knowing what was about to come next. Chris, however, burst out into laughter.

"Who am I? WHO AM I?" Blaineley asked, bursting out in anger, "Who are YOU? I was the host of the puppy-"

As Blaineley began to rant on and on, Naruto turned to Chris and asked, "Hey, man. What gives? I thought everyone would be around my age."

Chris shrugged, "You're eighteen so it's legal. Besides, trust me, she's the last person I wanted to be here, but the producers insisted."

Blaineley finally broke out of her ranting and crossed her arms, saying, "Oh, shut the fuck up, McLean."

Naruto turned from Blaineley back to Chris and muttered, "Back home in Japan they call people like her... You know. People in their thirties that aren't married, Christmas cake."

To the boy's surprise, Blaineley must have known what he meant as she strutted up to him and grabbed his chin, leaving their lips several inches apart, "Look, buster. I might be 'Christmas cake,' but I have tons of more experience than any of these inexperienced skanks."

Anne Maria put her hands on her hips, "Excuse me?!"

Chris took this chance to push Blaineley out of the way, "Enough of the screen hog! Next up is.. Bridgette!"

The next girl to step off the bus had her hands in her blue hoodie pockets and looked down at the ground as she walked towards Naruto. Her eyes seemed calm and collected, as she brought one of her hands out of her pockets to brush a lock of her blonde hair that was pulled into a ponytail out of her eyes. Her arms and torso were covered by a blue hoodie, paired with a pair of blue jean shorts that showed off her athletic legs.

Naruto rose an eyebrow at the girl and asked, "Uh, are you okay?"

"Oh, uh, yeah, I'm fine," Bridgette replied, looking up at the bachelor and extending her hand out to him, "I'm Bridgette. Nice to meet you."

"Likewise!" Naruto replied with a grin, more than a little glad that for once someone introduced themselves normally.

"Uh, Bridgette?" Beth asked, raising her hand, "What happened to you and Geoff?"

"I'd... Rather not talk about it," the surfer replied, pursing her lips, before retorting with, "Besides, what happened between you and Brady?"

Beth just bit her lip and fell silent. Naruto's gaze went from Bridgette to Beth and back again. He wasn't sure what, but it seemed like Chris's idea of "fun" was beginning to come into play. Obviously, he had brought two girls who had just recently broke up with their boyfriends there, and for no reason other than to exploit him. It made Naruto a little sick.

He broke out of his thoughts when he heard Chris exclaim, "Next up is Courtney!"

He watched a Latina become the next girl to exit the bus. Freckles dotted her nose and cheeks, while her brunette hair styled in a slightly longer style of a bob bounced around her ears. She wore a professional attire of a grey top and green pants, that accentuated her full, curvy figure to its utmost potential.

"I'm Courtney," she extended her hand to Naruto, "A pleasure to meet you. I hope you know to pick me so we can split that million together, right?"

He shook her hand and shrugged, responding with, "Could happen."

"Third time's the charm, eh, Courtney?" Blaineley scathingly called out, reminding the Latina of her failed relationships with Duncan and Scott.

"Oh, can it," she furrowed her brow and glared at Blaineley, "At least I'm not over the hill and looking for a man."

Naruto laughed in amusement, "See? I told you that she was Christmas cake!"

As Blaineley seethed, Courtney turned back to Naruto, "What I was saying when I was rudely interrupted was, be sure to pick the best girl. Me." With an air of confidence, she strode over to the other girls, standing next to Bridgette.

The Latina turned to her friend and asked, "So... You and Geoff still aren't together...?"

Bridgette gave a slight half-smile before shaking her head sadly. Courtney was one of the very few who knew about Bridgette and Geoff's break up, but that was fine with her.

"Our next contestant is Dakota!" Chris called out.

"Woah, you're kidding me," Naruto raised his eyebrows in surprise, "THE Dakota Milton?"

Shockingly enough, Dakota Milton was no longer mutated into a monster and was back to her regular self. She was the tallest of the girls so far with a tan model's body, albeit only having modestly B sized breasts, and a head of beautiful blonde hair. With her hand on her hip, she smiled amusedly at Naruto.

"Oh?" she asked, striking a pose, "You've heard of me? Of course, I'm not surprised-"

"Yeah!" the blonde boy exclaimed, "You got turned into a monster, right? It was all over the news back home!"

"...O-oh," her ego then deflated, as she rubbed the back of her neck self-consciously.

Naruto stood there for a moment before realizing what he said, "Oh, shit! That's not what I meant! Gomennasai!" He apologized.

"Daijoubu," she replied, giving a half-hearted smile despite saying it was okay. Naruto was shocked that an airhead heiress like her knew a little Japanese, but before he could say anything, she walked over to stand with the rest of the girls.

"Weren't you with that gamer geek or somethin'?" Anne Maria asked, as she went back to spraying her hair again.

Dakota looked down at the ground and rubbed her arm, "Yeah. Was."

"Okay, enough of the Paris Hilton knock off!" Chris exclaimed, earning glares from Dakota, Bridgette, and Naruto, "Contestant number nine is Dawn!"

Naruto turned towards the bus, but to his surprise, no one stepped out. It was then that he felt someone tapping on the bottom of his shoulder-blade. He jumped and turned around, seeing a short girl with almost elvish pointed ears. Her hair was a pale blonde, contrasting to her also pale, almost fairy-like skin. Her lips were painted with a violet lipstick, and she wore a green sweater and purple tights that clinged to her legs.

"I am very sorry to have startled you," she spoke with a very polite, elegant speech, "My name is Dawn. I hope this will be a pleasant experience for both of us."

"Uh, yeah, no problem," Naruto rubbed the back of his head, "Man, you talk really sophisticated and crap."

"And your aura indicates that you are much more blunt in your speaking," the moon child pondered, "An interesting contrast, don't you think?"

The Japanese teen blinked for a moment before asking, "My aura?"

"Yes, I'm an aura reader," she replied, modestly, "I also sense this feeling of bewilderment from you. Probably caused by a set of dreams or subconscious phenonena."

Naruto widened his eyes. The way she pegged him so quickly left him speechless. How did she do that just by reading someone's aura? Before he could ask, she had disappeared from her place beside him and was now standing beside Dakota.

"You still can read auras?" the heiress asked, thinking that maybe the whole aura thing was just a phase.

Dawn nodded, "Of course I can. In fact, I still feel a sense of wanting to belong emanating from you." Dakota bit her lip, but said nothing. She didn't want to admit it, but she knew Dawn was right.

"Next up is-" Chris interrupted himself, saying, "Oh, for fuck's sake. First Blaineley, now her?!"

A girl in a pink Disney-inspired dress stepped off of the bus. If Naruto didn't know any better, he would have thought she was Snow White. Hell, she looked almost just like her! She elegantly stepped towards Naruto and sang:

_"Some day my prince will come  
>Some day we'll meet again<br>And away to his castle we'll go  
>To be happy forever I know!"<em>

As Ella stopped in front of Naruto and curtsied, the boy replied with applause, "Not bad of a voice at all! What's your name?" He then ignored Chris yelling, "You LIKED that voice?!"

"I am Ella," she curtsied again, "I do believe that you are Prince Naruto, correct?"

"Well, I AM Naruto," he chuckled, "Dunno about the Prince part."

She tilted her head to the side and asked, "But you do have the affections of twenty-six fair ladies, correct? Only a Prince could have that power."

"Well, most of them ARE here for money," he admitted.

She shook her head and gave him a pleasant smile, saying, "Not ALL of us." Saying no more, she gracefully twirled over to stand with the rest of the girls.

Glad that Ella's introduction was done and over with, Chris announced, "Next up is none other than Eva!"

A scowling girl stomped off of the bus. She had a masculine look to her, with her scowl, muscular frame unibrow, and beauty mark on her cheek. But past that, the fact that she had a feminine ponytail and the fact that her sweat clothes showed off a bus that rivaled even Anne Maria's and Courtney's pretty sizable chests reassured them that she was indeed female.

She crossed her arms and arched her unibrow at Naruto, "Hm."

"Hm?" Naruto repeated.

"You've got some muscles," she spoke bluntly, "Work out at all?"

"Yeah, I do some karate. Black belt."

"Perfect," a half-smile replaced her usual scowl, "We'll get along just fine. But on one condition."

He arched an eyebrow, "And that is...?"

"Me and you having a sparring match later," Eva replied, "Capiche?"

Naruto's eyes lit up as he grinned, "Sounds like a plan! But just because you're a girl, I won't go easy on ya!"

"Even better," she smirked in amusement as she stomped over to the rest of the girls, standing next to Bridgette.

Bridgette tapped her on the shoulder, asking, "Hey, uh. Are you still upset about me voting you off back on the island?"

"Yes," was all she said.

"Wow, holding a grudge that long's bad for you, Eva," Courtney chimed in, a hand on her hip.

"You're one to talk, CIT," the bodybuilder snapped back.

Courtney opened and closed her mouth before finally admitting, "Yeah, true."

"Next up on the list is our resident goth, Gwen!" Chris announced.

A pale girl with black and blue dyed hair and blue lips slouched off of the bus, her arms crossed over her C-cup chest that seemed to mysteriously not be popping out of her black corset as much as others would assume, but enough to get a REAL good glimpse. The rest of her outfit consisted of her gothic style from her black and blue miniskirt to her long black boots.

She walked over to Naruto and studied him once before turning to Chris and saying, "At least he's not Duncan or Trent. Where did you find him?"

"Oh, just through auditions-" Chris didn't want to admit where he really found Naruto, but widened his eyes when Naruto interrupted the host.

"I saved his life," the teen shrugged, casting an amused smirk towards Chris, "Said it was the least he could do."

Gwen arched an eyebrow, but smirked nevertheless, "Kind of a waste saving his life, don't you think?"

"I'm starting to get it," he agreed with a grin.

"Hey!" Chris cried out in annoyance, but all this did was cause Naruto and Gwen to laugh at his misfortune.

"You're all right," Gwen turned back to Naruto, "Maybe something will work out."

Naruto shrugged, "Maybe." With that, Gwen went to stand with the others, standing by Courtney because there was little room elsewhere at the moment.

"Hey Gwen-"

"I'm still unhappy that you flushed our friendship down the toilet for a million dollars," Gwen recalled All Stars, "Please don't talk to me." Courtney opened her mouth to reply, but frowned and decided to comply with Gwen for now.

Still pissed off, Chris grumbled, "And girl number thirteen is Heather."

The resident Japanese queen bee stepped off the bus, her long black hair flowing behind her. She wore a mauve halter top, and judging by how perky her B-Cups seemed, she appeared to be going commando. She exuded a commandeering aura, as she stared off with her old contestants before walking towards Naruto.

"Wait a minute," Gwen mused aloud, "Aren't you with Alejandro?"

The queen bee gave a scoff, "We're on and off. Right now we're off, so..." Her gaze met Naruto's, "He'll do for now. Of course, the money comes first."

"Well, that's kinda the point of the show, right?" the blonde shrugged, "I mean, that's why you guys are here, right?"

"I'm glad you understand," she smirked, turning her nose up, "But still. You wouldn't be too bad to focus my attention on for now." She brought her slender finger up and brushed one of the teen's whisker-like birthmarks once before moving on to stand with the others.

"And with that, the first thirteen have been revealed!" Chris exclaimed, "The last thirteen contestants will arrive... after the break!" And with that, the show went to commercial break.

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><p>When it returned, Chris exclaimed, "And welcome back to Total Drama Romance! It's time to introduce the last thirteen contestants to the lucky, or unlucky, bachelor!"<p>

"You just waited like five seconds then said we were back from commercial," Naruto pointed out, before adding, "And what's that about unlucky?!"

"You get used to it," Courtney deadpanned from the group.

"Next up is... Izzy!" Chris ignored both of them and introduced the fourteenth contestant.

Before Naruto could even turn towards the bus, he was knocked to the ground by a green and orange blur. Rubbing his head, he noticed he was now pinned to the ground by a wild-eyed redhead with vibrant green eyes. She wore a green tank-top with a hole cut in the torso, exposing a flash of cleavage. Wrapped around her hips was a lime-green wrap.

"Hey, hey!" she spoke loudly and quickly, "You're that Naruto kid right? I read somewhere you saved Chris's life or some crap like that-"

"_Did not!" _Chris whined from the sidelines.

"...Did too," Naruto grunted out, still pinned by Izzy.

"Man, I remember the first time I saved a life!" she exclaimed, before adding, "...Although, that wasn't really what they wanted, I think. I'm not sure. So! Am I right? You're Naruto or whatever? What's your favorite color? Food? Movie? Murder weapon?"

"Uh," Naruto blinked, processing the barrage of questions, "Yes I am, orange, instant ramen, Enter the Dragon, and I've never murdered anyone, but shuriken are pretty rad!"

"Sweet!" Izzy let him go and backflipped off of him, "We'll get along just fine, fox-face! Mind if I call you fox-face?"

"Yeah, kinda-"

"Okay, cool!" she exclaimed, no longer listening as she did a series of front-flips over to the line-up behind the teen, landing beside Eva, "Ooh! Eva! Now two-thirds of E-Scope is here! If only Noah was here! But he's not a girl, I guess. Technically."

Eva snickered, adding, "Yeah. Technically."

"Man, I wish I still had Noah as my assistant; wonder if I can force Chef to get me coffee," Chris muttered, before looking at the camera and introducing, "Contestant number fifteen is Jasmine!"

Naruto was shocked by the height of the next contestant. She was taller than him by an inch or two, although the last inch could have been from the cowboy hat she was wearing. She had dark skin and black hair pulled back in a ponytail. She wore a white tank-top that exposed her navel underneath a khaki jacket, as well as khaki shorts. She tipped her hat and extended a hand towards Naruto.

"G'day, mate," she spoke in an Australian accent, "The name's Jasmine."

"I've never met someone from Australia before," Naruto commented, shaking her hand, "Love the accent, dattebayo!"

She smiled, with a nod, "You're own 'cent isn't that bad itself, mate."

"...Mind if I say something, bluntly?"

She wrinkled her nose but nodded, "Sure. G'ahead."

"I've never seen a girl as tall as you before," he noted with a nod.

Jasmine frowned and turned away, rubbing her arms, "Well, that's-"

"Nonono!" he shook his head, "That's a good thing! It's just... I dunno. Rare, I guess?"

"Real-"

"Alright, move it along, Jasmine!" Chris called out, arms crossed, "Don't got all day!"

Jasmine and Naruto shot Chris a glare, alongside Sammy, before Jasmine turned back to the Japanese teen and nodded, "Well, thanks, blondie. 'Ppreciate it." She walked on to enter the line, taking a place next to her best friend, Sammy.

Amy frowned and looked Jasmine up and down, "I thought you and zombie boy were together?"

"That's none-"

"That's none of your business, Amy!"

Jasmine and Amy were both shocked to see Sammy stand up for Jasmine. A pleasant smile crossed Jasmine's face as a scowl of annoyance crossed Amy's. Either way, that shut up her twin.

"Thanks, Sammy," Jasmine nudged her best friend, gratefully.

"...Um, you're my friend, so it's nothing," Sammy rubbed her arm and smiled up at the taller girl.

"Gag me," Chris deadpanned, before turning back towards the bus, "Time for something to counteract the sweetness. It's Jo!"

Much like Eva, the next contestant had an air of athletic masculinity to her, but a shade of feminine awkwardness seemed to shine through every once in a while. She had short blonde hair, hazel eyes, and wore a sweat uniform that hid most of her athletic figure. She walked towards Naruto and rubbed the back of her neck.

"...Well, I guess this isn't really a competition more than it is a popularity contest, huh?" she was clearly out of her element in this season.

"I'm not really sure how this is going to work ever, to be honest," Naruto admitted with a laugh, "But hey. I think we're all pretty awkward here so-"

"Not really," Heather called out with a smirk, mostly to psyche out the usually confident Jo.

"Oh, shut your mouth, witch," Jo snapped at Heather, before turning back to Naruto, "I just... Don't do romance, y'know? I do challenges and winning and-"

"Then see this as a challenge," Naruto offered with a shrug, "Then maybe you'll win."

Jo pondered for a moment before finally saying, "...Huh. Good point, Whiskers."

"...Whiskers?" Naruto repeated, trying to hide the deadpan in his voice.

Her confidence returned, Jo elaborated, "It's a nickname, Whiskers. Deal with it." With that, she joined the others, only for Izzy to call out, "See?! I knew nicknames were the way to go!"

Chris rolled his eyes before calling out, "Next up is another double threat! It's Katie and Sadie!"

A loud squeal sounding like, "EEEEEEEEE!", escaped the lips of the next two contestants as they ran up to the blonde teen. They were a duo like Chris said, but unlike Amy and Sammy, they were not twins.

The first of them was the taller of the two with tanned skin. She was much skinnier and curvier than the other, with a smaller bust. The other was shorter and had pale skin, being on the chubby side and with a larger bust. An interesting tid-bit Naruto noticed was they both had their hair up in black pig-tails and wore a black and white striped shirt, alongside pink short-shorts.

"Oh my God, Sadie," the tanned one, named Katie, spoke up, "I was kinda hoping that Alejandro or Justin or Trent was the bachelor, but this guy's pretty yummy, too!"

"Totes!" Sadie replied to her best friend, "You do know you're totally yummy, right?"

Naruto flashed red for a moment, rubbing the back of his neck, "Uh, arigato, ladies."

"EEEEEE!" another ear-piercing squeal exited their lips as Sadie added, "_And _he speaks Japanese! Even better!"

"I know, right?!" Katie asked, as they let out another, "EEEEEEEEE!"

"Hey, can we chill the "Eeee"ing stuff for now?" Naruto asked, a finger in his right ear.

"Oh!" Katie replied, both of them blushing red, "Sorry!"

"Yeah, we're really sorry!" Sadie added. Now embarrassed, the two sidestepped past the boy and joined the others.

"Thank goodness," Chris muttered, pulling out earplugs he had put in his ears before saying, "Next up! LeShawna!"

"Hey, y'all, LeShawna's in the house!"

A dark-skinned girl with black hair tied back in a ponytail and a beauty mark on her cheek was the next to step off of the bus. She was on the chubby side, but her figure, chest, and hips gave Anne Maria and Courtney a clear run for their money. She wore a cream shirt with kumquats on them alongside some hip-hugging blue jeans.

"Hey, sugar baby," LeShawna greeted the bachelor, "How's it goin'?"

"Well, seeing as what my situation is, pretty good, really," Naruto teased, "How about you?"

"Well, I had to sit behind Heather on the bus, so it's not starting off all that great," she laughed, "You gonna make up for it?"

"Won't make any promises," he shrugged, "Hope so."

She laughed again, "Not bad, sugar. Least you're honest! I respect that." With that, she strutted over to stand next to Gwen.

"What's Harold going to think of this?" the goth teased her close friend.

"Girl, I've told Harold a long time ago we wouldn't work and you know it," she replied, but smiled regardless, "What about you? Third time's the charm?"

She shrugged, "That's what they say. But I'm not holding my breath."

"Next up is our very own resident looker," Chris began introducing the next contestant, "Lindsay!"

A looker was an understatement for Lindsay. She had bright blonde hair that was covered by a blue bandanna and big, baby blue eyes. Her figure was far and away the jealousy of many girls, being slender and curvy and sporting possibly the biggest rack amongst the group. She wore a brown and orange halter top that exposed a lot of her cleavage and bared her midriff, alongside an orange short skirt that exposed a lot of her legs.

"Tyler!" she cheered, latching onto Naruto, "I've missed you!"

"...Tyler?" Naruto finally asked after getting over the sensation of her breasts pressing against his chest, "My name's Naruto, not Tyler."

She let go and let out a loud, "Ohhhh! That's right, I broke up with Tyler. Oops. Sorry."

If this was an anime, Naruto definitely would have sweatdropped, "It's... alright?"

"So, Nate, you're the bachelor here, right?" she asked, getting the boy's name wrong like she did with everyone, "You do know how to treat a lady, right?"

"I believe so," Naruto chuckled, "At least, that's what my exes say amongst... well, bad things. Exes, y'know?"

"Oh, I know, Nate!" she replied, smiling.

"Naruto."

"Oh, Naruto!" she corrected herself, "Right! Sorry."

With that, she ran over to the others, most of the girls staring at her incredulously, but not too shocked. It was Lindsay after all. It wouldn't surprise them if she'd forget that she even broke up with Tyler. All believed that except for her best friend, Beth. She knew better. She knew Lindsay was smarter than she looked, as ditsy and forgetful as she was. She knew Lindsay said that to try and brush the recent break up into a comedic territory.

After blinking at, or ogling, Lindsay, Chris continued with, "Contestant number twenty-one is someone we probably should have filed a restraining order against! It's Scarlett!"

Naruto watched as all of the contestant's seemed to hold their breath at the mention of Scarlett's name. To Naruto's shock and dismay, the aforementioned contestant was led off of the bus in hand-cuffs by a police officer. A little wary, the police officer handcuffed her and entered the bus once more.

She didn't seem to fit someone who was a prisoner. She was short and mousy, with glasses and her red hair tied up in a bun. She wore a yellow sweater and a blue skirt that showed off her slender legs. She adjusted her glasses and stopped in front of Naruto.

"Wait a minute," he put two and two together, "I think I read about you. You're... Scarlett or something? You kept some reality show cast hostage until they gave you the million dollars? Or, well, obviously they didn't, but-"

She nodded, interrupting him and replying intellectually, "That is affirmative."

"..._Someone _didn't tell me that," Naruto turned and glared at Chris McLean.

"Shoulda read the fine print!" is all the sadistic host replied with.

"The police will be keeping a sharp eye on this mansion and island," Scarlett reassured, adjusting her glasses once more, "You can rest assured that all of you are safe. Unless, of course, I decide to take _you _hostage for the million dollars."

"...You're kidding, ri-"

"Yes," she confirmed, "Now let us begin anew. My name is Scarlett. I hope we can grow close to each other. If you can grow close to a prisoner, that is."

"We won't know until we hang out, right?"

"Hm. Quite." Scarlett nodded and made a mental note of that as she joined the others. Everyone took a step away from her, causing her to roll her eyes.

"...Now that _that _atomic bomb was defused, let's have something hilarious, shall we?" Chris tugged at his collar nervously, "It's Sierra!"

"COOOODYYYY- ...You're not Cody."

Standing in front of Naruto was a girl just a little shorter than him. She had deeply tanned skin and her hair was dyed a vibrant violet. She wore a golden tank-top that exposed quite a bit of skin, alongside some fairly nice jeans that accentuated her hips. However, she seemed fairly bewildered at what was going on.

"Sorry?" Naruto asked, arching an eyebrow and shaking her head, "No, I'm not. I'm Naruto Uzumaki."

Sierra stared at Naruto bewildered before turning to face Chris, "I thought you said Cody was the bachelor!"

"Oh, yeah, that," the host snickered, admitting, "I lied."

The fangirl turned back to the bachelor and scanned him up and down. There was no way she could do Naruto like she did Cameron and put Cody's image over him. No. She wouldn't do that anyway. That had affected her state of mind too much to do that again.

"Well," she finally spoke again, forcing a smile and extending a hand to the boy, "when life gives you lemons, make lemonade, I guess."

Naruto shook it, grinning, before shaking his head, "You don't hafta force yourself, y'know."

She shrugged, and spoke with wavering conviction, "Well... Cody never really felt the same, so..." Without saying anything else, she went to stand beside Izzy, who put a hand on the shoulder of her friend.

"That wasn't _near _as funny as I'd hoped," Chris deadpanned with a scowl, before brightening up, "But at least we have another chance since I lied to the next one, too! It's Sky!"

"No, no, no, no!" Naruto heard a new girl vehemently decline leaving the bus, "I'm _not _going on a dating show where Dave is the bachelor! You _do _remember that, right?!"

He watched as Chef Hatchet shoved an Asian girl out of the bus. She picked herself up and dusted herself off, before meeting Naruto's gaze and looking surprised that Dave was nowhere to be found. She had probably the most athletic toned body of the group, with a chest on the small size, but her behind more than made up for that. Her black hair was styled in a longer, curly bob and she wore a yellow blouse with a purple wrap around the waist and black yoga pants.

"...Yeah," Chris spoke up, "I lied about that too."

Sky glared at Chris, "Yeah. Obviously."

"Wait, how many potential killers have _been _on this show?" Naruto asked in a tone between concern and amusement.

"Too many," Sky replied with a sigh, but gave a smile, teasing, "You're not one of them, right?"

"Well, Izzy already asked me what my favorite murder weapon was," he replied, jerking a thumb back towards the psycho hose-beast, "So, I guess that door's open."

Sky giggled, "Well, as long as you don't kill me, we're good."

"It's a deal then."

The future olympian nodded and walked to stand next to Ella. She shifted uncomfortably, before saying, "Hey, uh, I know you still like Dave and I'm so-"

Ella shook her head and smiled, "It's okay. I understand completely. For now, Prince David may still be my prince, but... Until he is able to control his emotions, there are many other princes in the sea. Don't worry about little ole me."

As Sky sighed in relief, Chris announced, "Next up is... Staci!"

"Did you know that my great-great-great uncle invented buses?" Naruto heard someone lie, "Ya, before him, everyone walked to school."

Off of the bus was a chubby girl with long brown hair, wearing a pink bow in her hair, a pink turtleneck, and purple pants. She wasn't very sexually attractive, but when she wasn't lying, she had a slightly cute air to her.

"...That's nice?" Naruto asked, extending his hand, "I'm Naruto Uzumaki-"

"Is that Japanese?" she asked, before asking, "My great-great-great grandfather discovered Japan! Before then-"

"I really doubt that," he deadpanned, "Japan's existed as a nation longer than North America, right?"

Staci went quiet and turned red, "Um, uh- I'm sorry."

"'S'all'right," he shrugged, "Just don't try to lie about culture, y'know?"

She nodded awkwardly, making her way over the others in embarrassment. She mentally decided that if she was going to get far in this competition, she'd have to try and control her lying to some point.

"Only two left!" Chris announced, "Our second-to-last contestant is Sugar!"

"Sugar's gonna win this pageant!" a girl with a Southern accent exclaimed as she stepped off of the bus. Like Staci, she was also chubby and had blonde hair piled high like a bee's nest. Unlike Staci, Sugar wasn't afraid of hiding her body, flashing some skin with her pink halter top that came across as barely a strip of clothing across her chest and blue jeans.

"This pageant?" Naruto repeated, confusedly, "This is a reality show."

"I know, hun," she waved him off, before crushing him in a hug, "It's a pageant for your heart, right?"

"I guess," he choked out, "Can you let go before you snap my spine?"

She promptly let go and gave him a wink, "Sure thing, sugar. Get it? Sugar?" She gave a loud laugh before walking over to the others and announcing, "I ain't even sure why the rest of y'all are here. The prize is mine!"

"Oh, we're all secretly jealous of you, Sugar," Sky deadpanned, which Sugar didn't seem to notice.

Lastly, the final contestant walked off of the buss, "And lastly, it's Zoey!"

The girl was petite with red hair tied back into pigtails, matched with rosy red lipstick and a red tube top that exposed the tops of her c-cups. She also wore grey yoga pants and a flower in her hair, which complemented her wide eyes.

"You 'n Vito ain't together anymore?" Anne Maria gasped in horror and slight joy.

"Mike?" Zoey repeated, shaking her head, sadly, "No. I wish you hadn't brought it up."

"Okay, Chris," Naruto finally spoke up, asking, "What gives? This is like the fifteenth person who broke up with someone recently."

Chris shrugged, uncaringly, "It's good for ratings."

"Ignore him, he's always like this ," Zoey said, before awkwardly adding, "I hope we can be friends, Naruto! Err, if you want that is. But wait, the point of this is for us to be more than that-"

"Nervous?" Naruto asked, interrupting her.

She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, "I just... I hope we can be friends. And if something happens, I guess something happens."

"Sounds good," he agreed with a grin.

"Alrighty!" Chris announced, "It's time for the first challenge! And boy, is it a doozy!"

"We just got here!" Heather argued, before saying, "Oh, forget it. You don't give a shit."

"You know me so well," the host chuckled before turning back to the cameras, "We'll be right back with the first challenge! On... Total! Drama! Romance!"

Naruto wasn't sure what he had got into. A show with a sadistic host, where ultimately Naruto would have to choose one of twenty-six girls.

A toothy grin crossed his face. Let the games begin.

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><p><strong>And there's the first chapter! Who are you rooting for getting with Naruto? Tell me through a review, as well as what you thought!<strong>

**Also, the first poll is up on my profile for who should win immunity, as well as the first group date with our foxy hero!**

**Until the next chapter!**


	2. Key to My Heart

**Let's get this show on the road with the second chapter! Who will win immunity and the first group date? Well, let's find out, shall we?**

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><p><strong>Episode 1, Part 2: <strong>The Key to my Heart

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><p>"And we're back!" Chris McLean announced, as the commercial break had ended.<p>

"Seriously, dude," Naruto deadpanned, "You just waited five seconds and said, 'And we're back.'"

Ignoring the bachelor, Chris exclaimed, "This season, there'll be two confessionals! One inside the mansion in a normal bathroom, and one outhouse confessional outside of the house for challenges and dates! Tell the world how you really feel!"

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><p><strong>Outhouse Confessional<strong>

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><p><strong>Jo- She has her arms crossed, seeming still a little uncomfortable./ **Look. I'll be frank. I've never dated a boy before. Hell, I've never even KISSED a boy before. I don't know how to go about this! **/She pauses, before saying./ **But challenges ARE my strength. **/She smirks./ **Looks like Whiskers may be my first date after all.

**Staci- **Ya, my great-great grandmother invented outhouses- Augh! No! **/She clamped her hands over her mouth./ **I really, REALLY need to break this habit!

**LeShawna- ****/She is seen pinching her nose./ **Ugh. I haven't even been ON this show since World Tour and McLean's still using outhouses? Really?!

**Zoey- /She is holding her hands near her legs, biting her lip./ **Okay, I really don't want to say this, but I kinda wanna see what could happen here. I mean, Mike and I aren't together anymore, right? It's only natural to want to find love. **/She sighs./ **I'm sorry, Mike.

**Sierra- /She is seen typing on her laptop./ **And... Done! Naruto's blog is all set up! **/She pauses and turns to the camera./ **...What? **/She blushes and turns away from the camera./ **I-it's just because he's the new contestant! That's all!

**Naruto- /His arms are crossed; he has a slightly annoyed look./ **Why is the confessional the toilet? Does this show even have a budget or what?

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><p>"So what exactly's our first challenge?" Sky asked, raring to kick ass in the challenge.<p>

"Good question, Sky!" Chris called out, with a sadistic chuckle, "If everyone would, follow me to the backyard of the mansion!"

For some reason, Naruto didn't have a great feeling about this.

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><p>He was right. He watched as each of the twenty-six girls were each paired off with one of the mutant animals from the fourth season, each animal having a key somewhere on his person.<p>

Naruto turned to Chris and asked the obvious, "Okay. What the fuck's wrong with you?"

"He's right, you know!" Heather exclaimed, glaring back at the host, "You don't really expect us to wrestle those keys from these mutant freaks!"

"Oh, I wasn't," the host smirked, "You were just gonna snatch them. But that sounds a LOT more fun, so we'll do that instead!"

All of the girls turned to glare at the queen bee, minus a couple such as Sammy, Izzy, and Dawn. She just gave a sheepish chuckle in return before rolling her eyes.

"The deal is, each of you will have to wrestle the mutant animal and snatch the key from them!" Chris continued, "Those will be your room keys for the remainder of the season! However! Three of them will be able to unlock one of three locks on the door! The three who do will win immunity and the first group date with Naruto! Got it?"

"Affirmative," Scarlett replied, an amused smile crossing her face. This would be a piece of cake, in her opinion.

"Great!"

Naruto turned to Chris again and asked, "Seriously. What the hell's wrong with you?"

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><p>As the challenge began, it was obvious that some contestants were having an easy time with the challenge as expected, such as Eva, Jasmine, Jo, and Sky. Others weren't having much luck such as Amy, Staci, and Sugar. To Naruto's surprise, one of the contestants had already finished the challenge and tapped him on the shoulder.<p>

"Holy crap," he widened his eyes at the girl, "You're done already?"

The girl, who happened to be Zoey, gave a shrug, "I'm used to dealing with Chris's personal petting zoo, you know. I mean, I _did _apologize to the bear after I kicked it in... a certain area, but still."

The blonde teen couldn't help but laugh, "Where the sun don't shine? Man, that's brutal!"

She shrugged again and smiled, "It's kind of a thing I picked up. Some people who watch the show call me 'Commando Zoey' when I do it."

"Commando?" he asked, "You're _that _brutal?"

She flinched, "Is that a bad thing?"

"Oh, no no!" he exclaimed, shaking his head, "Just next time, I wanna see!"

Zoey stared at him for a moment before giggling, "I'll try to let you watch sometime."

"Good," he nodded, "It's _gotta _be hilarious!"

However, Zoey's attention had changed to a certain Jersey girl fighting off her own mutant creature. She turned to Naruto and said, "I'll be right back."

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><p><strong>Outhouse Confessional<strong>

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><p><strong>Zoey- <strong>Truth be told, I might be considered a hipster, but I actually took a lot of karate growing up. **/She then laughed./ **To be honest, it was because I really _really _loved the Karate Kid when I was little. Thankfully that's not a big issue here.

**Naruto- **Man, I gotta say, chick's who could kick my butt are pretty awesome. **/He nodded, pretending that it was a sagely statement./ **I mean, think about it. Independence is awesome. That's some points in my book.

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><p>Amy wasn't having great luck at trying to steal a key from a mutant gorilla. In fact, for some reason, the gorilla was throwing barrels at her, much like a certain video game. She barely dodged another barrel and yelled, "Will you stop doing that, already?!"<p>

It was then that she heard Jasmine exclaim, "'Atta gal, Sammy!"

Amy turned and was shocked by what she saw. Somehow, Sammy, through Jasmine's encouragement since she already had her key from the mutant crocodile she had to fight, had stolen her key from the mutant moose she had to wrestle.

"I did it?" Sammy asked herself, holding the key, "I did it! Jasmine! I did it!"

"Congrats, Sammy," her best friend smiled before reminding, "But I do think we should get away before that moose charges again." The two girls with their keys ran off to avoid the monstrous moose.

"How did Samey get her key before me- Ow!" A barrel then slammed into Amy.

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><p>Zoey found Anne Maria spraying her hairspray in the mutant monkey she was facing's eyes. While the creature was temporarily blinded, she snatched the key and cheered, stepping back from it.<p>

"And that's how the Jersey Shore does it!" she exclaimed, boastfully.

Zoey watched as Anne Maria began to strut away in victory, before calling out, "Hey, Anne Maria!"

The Jersey Girl stopped and turned to face the hipster, raising an eyebrow in bewilderment, "What'd 'ya want, red?"

"I just want to say, about that whole Mike thing back in season four," she spoke, "I think we should get over it, and, you know, be friends."

"Huh." was all Anne Maria said at first. Zoey frowned, trying to figure out what the fashionista was about to say, before Anne Maria finally said.

"We're actually competin' for someone this time, so I can't promise _that_," she spoke, "But I don't want 'ya to be a doormat in this competition, so give it all you've got!"

That was a shocking revelation to Zoey. Did she want them to be rivals or something? She wasn't very sure, but it sure did seem that way.

"O-okay then," she replied with an uncertain nod, "If you say so?"

* * *

><p>"No! Bad raccoon! Let go!"<p>

Heather turned to see none other than her ex-friend Beth, try to steal the key from her mutant animal. Beside Beth stood the geek's best friend, Lindsay, already having beaten the mutant tortoise Chris had conjured up, and was trying to help Beth retrieve her key.

"Bad fuzzy!" the blonde shouted, "You let go right now- whoa!"

As if on command, the raccoon let go, sending the two tumbling backwards. Sure, Beth now had the key, but that was okay with the raccoon. It still got the last laugh, after all.

"Pathetic," Heather scoffed, as she held the key she retrieved from a mutant vulture, putting her hands on her hips and looking amused at her two ex-friends, "You've gotta work harder than _that _to get anywhere in this game, trust me."

"Uh, you do remember you weren't the only one to get to the final two, right?" Beth brought up, furrowing her brows at the queen bee, "Because I got to the final two before _you _even did!"

"Okay, number one, don't remind me," the Japanese girl rolled her eyes, "And number two, that's not what I meant. Being pathetic in challenges won't score you any points with Naruto, trust me."

"And how do you know tha-"

Beth was interrupted by Lindsay who countered, "And you won't be by being the meanest person here, either! No one really likes you!"

Heather was caught off guard for a moment, before sneering and crossing her arms, "Yeah, yeah. Keep telling yourselves that."

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><p><strong>Outhouse Confessional<strong>

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><p><strong>Beth- Her arms are crossed and she was seen frowning./ **It might not be today or tomorrow, but one of these days Heather's going to get her just desserts. **/She then pauses and wonders./ **But if niceness is what Naruto judges on, I'd be in the top six for sure!

**Heather-**How dare she! Of course people like me! **/She then looks away from the camera./ **Just not here. Although, I guess I can't really give them a reason to. **/She shakes her head and crosses her arms./ **Oh, get it together, Heather! That blonde boy, and the million bucks, is what I should focus on right now! Not something Lindsiot said!

**Lindsay- /Her arms are crossed over her voluptuous chest./ **I just said what everyone was thinking about Helen- err, I mean Heather. **/She then frowned./ **Although, I probably need to go ahead and tell Noel the truth, I guess...

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><p>"You didn't have to help me get my key, you know," Bridgette spoke to Courtney as they began their trek back to Chris and Naruto, "Why the sympathy?"<p>

"Like you'd hurt an animal purposefully, mutant or not," Courtney explained, her arms crossed, but a wistful smile on her face, "You're like one of the very few contestants who still like me, so of course I'm going to have your back."

"Well, if you'd treat everyone else like you've treated me, maybe you wouldn't have that problem," Bridgette had a teasing tone, but was absolutely serious despite that.

Courtney frowned for a moment before sighing, "Yeah, I know _that_."

The surfer looked over at the CIT and asked the million dollar question, "Well, then why don't you?"

"...Well, what about you?" the Latina changed the question.

"...What about me?"

"You and Geoff have gone through everything together," she elaborated, "It's not normal that suddenly you two would lose that spark."

Bridgette stopped and just said simply, "He let the fame go to his head again."

"...You're not going to tell me anything else?" Courtney asked, and when Bridgette shook her head no, she said, "Fine. But when you're ready to open up about it, I want _all _of the details, spare no moment."

"And when you finally decide to open up, I want every detail too," Bridgette countered, before teasingly repeating, "Spare no detail."

The Latina wrinkled her nose for a moment, before deciding to relent and give a nod towards her friend.

* * *

><p>"Ugh! What the hell'd you spray out of your eyes?!"<p>

Acid splashed by Dakota's foot, just barely missing her. She watched as it began to burn a hole in the ground beside her. She turned back towards the mutant rabbit that had somehow sprayed the acid out of its eyes. It blinked oddly before giving out a low growl, something seriously uncharacteristic for a rabbit.

"May I be of some assistance?" a certain moonchild named Dawn asked, as she popped up beside Dakota, a mutant hawk resting on the aura-reader's head.

"Where did you come from?!" Dakota jumped in surprise, before settling and remembering, "Oh, right. All animals seem to like you, right?"

She nodded, "That is correct. If you wish, I could get your key for you. I have already gotten mine and have given Amy assistance in getting hers."

Without even letting Dakota answer, Dawn quietly called out to the mutant rabbit. Dakota watched in bewilderment that Dawn had that much compassion for both animals and others.

"This is a competition," Dakota finally stated, "Aren't you supposed to, like, be catty about this whole dating and million dollar thing?"

As Dawn picked up the rabbit and untied the key from its neck, she pursed her violet lips and said, "I do not see a reason to. If I win, then fate has willed it. If I do not, then fate has also willed it. Besides, you do not seem especially catty either, if I am correct."

"Well, I already _am _rich," the heiress explained, manicured hands on her hips, "I don't really have a reason to be here other than love so-"

"Sam didn't want to be with you because you're no longer mutated, correct?"

Dakota was speechless. Her eyes now wide as saucers, she finally sputtered out, "How did you-"

"A gift," she shrugged, walking over and handing Dakota the key, "If fate wills it, you will find true love here. I wish you luck." She smiled brightly at the much taller girl.

For once, Dakota couldn't help but give a genuine smile and reply with, "You too."

* * *

><p>"Oh, Sugar, it's so great to be in a season together again, isn't it?"<p>

Sky, having tamed a mutated horse, and now riding it, key tucked in her hands, looked over towards Ella and Sugar. Ella had already gotten her key due to her closeness with animals and her siren-like singing voice, while Sugar was taking her precious time to.

"Joy like ahernia or somethin'," the southern belle responded, as she snatched at the mutant vulture once more.

"I do not believe ahernia is all that joyful," the innocent girl replied, "But I will take that as a compliment-"

"It's _not _a compliment!" Sugar snapped, turning back towards Ella, "I told y'all last season that I didn't want nothin' to do with you! This is a pageant and I ain't here to make friends! I'm here to win! So stop talkin' to me already!"

Sky was about to intervene until she saw Ella finally break down and run off. She then turned to glare at Sugar, only to notice that she was getting her just desserts for her attitude for the vulture was now pecking her on the head.

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><p><strong>Outhouse Confessional<strong>

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><p><strong>Ella- She is moderately teary-eyed./ **I just thought that... _sniff_... Sugar and I could be friends. I mean, she reminds me of Lottie from Princess and the Frog and- **/She then sighed, dejectedly./**

**Sky- **In a way, I can't blame Sugar _too _much. I mean, she did tell Ella last season that she didn't want to be friends. **/She then frowned and crossed her arms./ **But that was _way _too cruel about it. Sugar needs to shape up before she's eliminated for being a douche or something.

**Sugar- /The vulture is still seen pecking her on the head./ **Ow! Ow! Ow! Stop that, you varmint!

* * *

><p>As most of the girls continued the arduous challenge, one girl who was already finished decided to walk over and talk to Naruto instead.<p>

"Huh?" the blonde boy asked, "Sup, Lindsay?"

"Um, about calling you Tyler," she admitted, rubbing the back of her neck.

"I said it was fine," he laughed, "Happens, I guess!"

"No!" she exclaimed, shaking her head before speaking in a quieter voice, "No. It wasn't an accident, Noah!"

"Naruto."

"...THAT was an accident," she admitted before continuing, "No, I knew you weren't Tyler. I just used that to... How do they call it... Steel my nerves?"

He blinked for a moment, "Steel your nerves? Why?"

She frowned for a moment, deciding not to explain her situation quite yet, "Our break up wasn't that long ago, so..."

"Oh," Naruto mused with a nod, "Well. Wanna try again?"

The buxom blonde brightened, extending her hand, "I'm Lindsay! Nice to meet you, Naruto!"

"It's Naru-" he almost corrected as he shook her hand before saying, "Hey! You remembered my name!"

"Well, duh, silly!" She said turning on her heels, heading back to stand with the girls who had finished the challenge, "You said it three times, right?"

* * *

><p>Seemingly ripped from the scene of some western movie, Eva and Izzy were seen standing opposite of a mutated rhinoceros and a mutated orangutan, which was situated on the rhinoceros' back. Eva narrowed her eyes. The rinoceros narrowed its. Izzy broke into a wide, psychotic grin. The orangutan did the same.<p>

It was then that the rhino charged. Neither Eva or Izzy budged an inch at first, until Izzy decided to leap on Eva's shoulders. Eva held her hands out in front of her, waiting for the rhinoceros with the key tied around its horn to draw near. When the two animals finally came close, Eva focused all of her strength into her arms and legs and stopped the rhino in its tracks. It was then that Izzy jumped off of her shoulders and tackled the primate off of the larger creature.

Once she knew Izzy and the ape were out of harms way, Eva did what a lot of people couldn't with her hulk-like strength. She grabbed the rhino and suplexed it, knocking it out on contact with the ground. Swiping the key from around its horn, she just smirked, looking over to her partner of Team E-Scope, who had somehow sneaked some rope into the show and had tied up the orangutan, also grasping her key. Saying nothing, she gave the psycho red-head a high five.

"Let's do it again!" Izzy exclaimed with a loud and upbeat laugh punctuating that statement.

* * *

><p>Gwen had decided actually catching the mutant frog and taking it back to the group would be the easiest way to go about the whole challenge. She glared down at the creature and scowled, saying, "You better not piss on my hand and give me a toxic wart or something." The frog only croaked in response.<p>

"Hey, girl," LeShawna spoke, wearing her key around her neck like a necklace as she strode next to the goth, "Doin' it the old fashioned way, huh?"

"Yep," she gave a smirk to her friend, "Seemed to be the easiest idea, outside of dissecting this thing. And I'd rather _save _the frogs than _kill _one."

"True," the lively girl laughed in amusement before asking, "So...?"

Gwen arched an eyebrow in response, "So what?"

"What do you think about our unlucky bachelor?" she nudged her friend playfully in the ribs.

The goth thought for a moment before saying, "If he's on this show, there's gotta be _something _wrong with him."

"True 'dat," LeShawna agreed again before asking, "But it's worth the try, right? I mean, your last two hook ups on this show didn't work out."

Gwen rolled her eyes, "Don't remind me."

"Hey, Harold and I didn't work out either," she shrugged, "I think you should actually give it a go. Who knows? You might just win."

Gwen was pensive for a moment and was about to reply for that when the frog jumped out of her arms and started hopping away. She stared at it and then LeShawna before uttering, "Shit."

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><p><strong>Outhouse Confessional<strong>

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><p><strong>Gwen- She has her arms crossed and legs crossed./ **Maybe LeShawna's right. Maybe I need to give it a go, you know? I mean, my first relationship here turned sour because Trent became obsessed with me. And with Duncan, we ended it because he was still obsessed about Courtney. **/She pauses for a moment./ **Maybe this time, it'll actually work out fine. Third time's the charm, right?

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><p>"You got it here, folks!" Sierra said, turning to a portable camera she brought, "Watch as Staci tames the savage beast!" Sierra had a chameleon on her head that was holding the key. If people didn't know better, the main reason why the chameleon seemed so easily caught was because it was enjoying the show of Staci trying to tame the mutant bull.<p>

Staci was hanging onto the bull for dear life as she tried to grab the key near its horns, "My- aaah- great-great grandfather invented bull- Waaah!"

It was then that the bull bucked and kicked, sending Staci flying and landing on the ground next to Sierra. Sierra turned to the camera and gave it an awkward grin, "...Or not."

"Hey, bull balls!" a certain jockette stood in front of the bull, "Take me on for size!"

The bull snorted and pawed at the dirt with its hoof as it glared Jo down. Jo just smirked and gave it a "Come hither" motion. With a bellowing moo, the bull began to charge Jo. When the timing was right, Jo leapt onto the bull's back, snatching the key as she did so and taking another leap and landing on top of Staci, causing her to grunt in pain.

"So, Little Miss Liar," the jockette held the key down in front of Staci's face, "Want this key?"

"Yeah," Staci nodded, "I-"

"Okay, then," Jo cut her off, "Then I'll cut you a deal. Help spread a good report about me to Whiskers and this is all yours."

Staci gave a weak nod as Jo dropped the key in Staci's hands and walked off, saying, "Pleasure doing business with you."

Sierra turned the camera on herself, "Wow! The followers on my Jo blog are gonna _love _this!"

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><p>"Sadie?"<p>

Katie and Sadie were on the backs of two separate ostriches, trying their best to hold on for dear life and grab their keys. Sadie turned to Katie and asked, "Um, is now the time?"

"Uh, yeah," Katie replied, trying to speak despite the speeds the flightless birds were going at, "I think we should focus on-"

It was then that Sadie's ostrich took off forward, causing the larger BFFFL to squeal out a frightened, "Woah!" Katie gave a sigh. Honestly, she wanted to warn Sadie that they needed to be more independent if they wanted to win Naruto over in the end.

Kicking the ostrich in the side like it was a horse, the more athletic BFFFL shouted, "Hyah!" Unfortunately for her, all this did was cause the ostrich to turn around and peck her on the head like the vulture did Sugar, "Ow! Ow! Ow! I just want you to get me up there with Sadie! _Ow_!"

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><p>Scarlett watched from afar as a mutated deer snarled and rounded upon what seemed to be a cupcake just sitting in the backyard of the mansion. A notebook in her hand, she jotted down every inch the deer grew closer to the cupcake. After several inches of moving forward, the ground underneath the deer collapsed, causing the deer to fall in the pit with a loud crack, breaking one of its legs.<p>

With a smirk, Scarlett walked forward and bent down in the pit to grab the key from its antlers and wrote in her notebook again, "Just as my calculations predicted. Animals will go for anything edible. Even a two week old expired Little Debbie cupcake. A shame. I should have let the creature taste of it to see how it would have fared. Oh well." With that, she walked away to join the others who had finished.

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><p><strong>Outhouse Confessional<strong>

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><p><strong>Scarlett- <strong>**/She adjusted her glasses and dusted off her skirt./ **Yes, it was a cruel way of doing it, but I must do what I must do to get by. **/She seemed pensive for a moment, as a smirk crossed her lips./ **Besides. I have an interest in this Naruto character. The way his mind seems to work fascinates me a lot more than the prize money. And that's saying something. I must stay in the competition to learn more.

**Chris- /He shrugged./ **Hey. If someone that vile can bring in the ratings, she can break any deer's legs she wants, if you ask me!"

**Chef- /He rolled his eyes./ **Didn't even save anything for me to cook for dinner tonight. **/He then mused./ **Maybe I should cook rhino instead.

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><p>By this point, most of the girls had already gained their keys and had re-converged with Chris and Naruto. The only one of the girls who was still still battling for her key against the monstrous abominations was Blaineley. It was then that Jasmine thought it was better then than ever to finally try and break the ice with their bachelor.<p>

"So, you're from Tokyo, eh?" the Australian amazon asked with a gentle smile, "I've never had the honors o' headin' down to that neck of the woods."

"Neck of the woods?" Naruto asked, with a grin, "Man, you've got some strange analogies down under, huh? And yeah. I was born and raised in the Shinjuku Prefecture. How about you?"

"Near Sydney," she answered simply, before correcting, "Well. Somewhere outside of Sydney. My mom and pop are adventurers, after all."

Naruto's eyes lit up in interest, "Adventurers?! Wow! That shit sounds rad!"

"Yes, it is indeed 'rad,'" she teased with a slight laugh, as she put her hands on her hips, "Let me guess. City slicker."

"Ish," he shrugged, "My karate teacher sometimes takes me and my class out into the wilderness for special classes. But other than that, I'm stuck in my apartment in Shinjuku."

She gave a low hum before offering, "Even if we don't end up as a couple, what do you say that I take you to the outback sometime when this is over? That's _true _adventures, let me tell you now."

Naruto blinked for a moment before asking, "Wait. You actually wanna know me?"

"Like Ella said, not all of us are here for money," Jasmine replied, "Besides, mate, I already gained half a million from my last season."

The blonde Japanese boy couldn't help but grin at that. It was nice to see that she had a better motive than just winning the money. However, he wondered why she only gained half the prize money the last season. Before he could ask, he watched as Blaineley ran up to the rest, panting and saying, "I... finally.. Whew... Made it. Ladies such as myself shouldn't have to do this crap."

It was then that Chris called out, after rolling his eyes at Blaineley,

"Everyone's here! Time to try out the keys and see which three open the door to the mansion!"

It was time for the members of the first group date to be decided.

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><p>One by one, each girl tried their key out on the door. Grunts in annoyance and shrugs of indifference were uttered by those who weren't able to unlock the door to the mansion. Three girls, however, were able to unlock the lock's tumblers one by one.<p>

The first was Dawn. Her enigmatic smile did not change much when she noticed that she won, but the smile seemed to radiate a bit more. Gwen was second, giving an arched eyebrow in surprise, but didn't seem upset that she won in any way. If anything, she seemed to have a little excitement from it, which she tried her best to hide. Bridgette was the last winner, and she had the most mixed reaction out of any of the girls. On one hand, Courtney had a point in that she needed to at least give Naruto a shot, but on the other, she was still a little shaken up from her break up with Geoff. It was bittersweet in all honesty.

"There you have it!" Chris exclaimed, "Dawn, Gwen, and Bridgette have won immunity and the first group date with Naruto! What is it? Why, it's a trip away from Chef's disgusting food-"

"Hey!" Chef Hatchet exclaimed in vehemence.

"-at a fancy pants restaurant!" the host ignored his partner-in-crime and continued, "You three should try to get ready and head out ASAP!"

"Wait, so that's why you asked us to pack formal clothes too?" Naruto asked with a grimace. To be honest, he hated wearing tuxes but Chris had pretty much forced them to, unfortunately.

"Yep!"

Gwen gave an annoyed sigh and rolled her eyes, "Just when I was excited to go on this stupid date."

"Anything to make you miserable," Chris snickered at the goth before calling out, "Alright! Next up is room numbers! Each room will have three to four people living in them except for Naruto, who will have Room One to himself! So listen good! Room Two will have Amy, Sammy, Beth, and Courtney! Room Three has Dakota, Ella, and Gwen. Room Four's members are Heather, Izzy, and Jasmine. Room Five'll house Katie, Sadie, LeShawna, and Scarlett. Room Six has Zoey, Anne Maria, and Blaineley. Room Seven's Dawn, Eva, and Jo. Room Eight has Lindsay, Sierra, and Bridgette. And finally, Room Nine has Sky, Sugar, and Staci. Any questions?"

"Yeah, do these rooms have a lake view-"

Chris cut Lindsay off and said, "Good! Head on in! Naruto, Dawn, Gwen, and Bridgette, head to the Lame-o-sine as soon as you can to head out to your first date with destiny!"

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><p>"I really don't know why you're here, Samey. We all know you're going to get eliminated first."<p>

Sammy slammed the door to Room Two and stomped down the hall of the mansion. She didn't notice the glares that Beth and Courtney shot Amy. As usual, Amy had to put her down just because she was the younger twin. It wasn't fair, in her opinion.

It was then that the thought came to her. Amy hadn't talked to Naruto one on one yet since she and Sammy both arrived at the same time. Now that she thought about it, the same was for Katie and Sadie. Sammy would take this chance to talk to him before she ended up being the last girl to have a one-on-one conversation with him.

As she walked down the halls of the mansion, she was in awe of the size of it. There was a living room, a kitchen (that Chef seemed to make his own room; Sammy or none of the others knew that Chris was staying at a separate mansion entirely), a pool outside, the bedrooms, and even a game room. If only the mansion wasn't in terribly warn condition.

She stopped in front of Room One and bit her lip. What if he didn't want to talk to her? She understood that, or at least she had been told it so often that she believed it. Maybe this was just a horrible mistake. Turning on her heels to leave, she stopped when she heard the door open.

"Sammy?" Naruto, dressed in a fancy black tuxedo, called out, "Err, or is it Amy?"

She turned back towards him and shook her head, "It's Sammy. Amy has the mole. I don't. Sorry for almost bothering you."

"Wait!" the other blonde exclaimed, "Y'don't hafta leave, y'know? You weren't bothering me or anything. Did you wanna talk or something?"

Her eyes lit up for a moment, but in her timidness, she flashed red and just nodded. If she had the strength, she probably would have said that she wanted to talk to him before Amy, Katie, or Sadie did, but decided not to say that in the end.

"I think we've got time 'til I gotta leave," he reassured her before asking, "Say. This is gonna be a weird question. What's it like to be a twin?"

"I-it's gr-" Sammy cut herself off and frowned, "It's awful. I-I mean you're considered to be a number by your family and... I can't stand it, honestly."

Naruto definitely didn't expect that to be her answer. Before he could ask why, she asked him, "Can we change the subject?" He nodded, respecting her wishes, although he was still incredibly curious.

"Uh," her blush deepened, "You look nice. Uh, in your tux, I mean. I think guys are really cool in tuxes- Not that I don't think you look really cool anyway, but-"

Naruto burst into laughter before saying, "I get it. Don't worry about it. Besides. Like I said earlier, you've got this charm to you, Sammy."

She looked down at the floor, "You weren't just saying that? You meant it?"

He shook his head, "Nah, I was serious. You seem to-"

It was then that the sound of Chef's booming voice interrupted the Japanese teen, "Fox kid and the three winners! Make 'yer way to the lame-o-sine or I'm leavin' without 'ya!"

Naruto gave a groan in annoyance, before turning back to Sammy, "I guess I'm off. Talk to 'ya later?"

As he took off, she nodded and waved him goodbye. She frowned, as a new emotion bottled up in her chest.

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><p><strong>Mansion Confessional<strong>

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><p><strong>Naruto- <strong>**/His arms are crossed in pensive thought./ **Sammy really needs to be brought out of her shell. She seems really cool and all but she's _way _timid. **/He then furrowed his brows./ **For some reason, that feels familiar to me. Huh. Eh, who cares? **/He shrugged./**

**Sammy- **I actually kinda wish I could have won the challenge. I mean, Naruto seems really nice and I kinda want to get to know him. **/She then blushed again./ **Uh... This is what jealousy is like, huh?

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><p>The date started off in the lame-o-sine pretty silently. Bridgette seemed uncomfortable about the date, Gwen seemed uncomfortable about wearing a dress, and Dawn seemed perfectly <em>comfortable <em>doing some early-evening meditation on the ride over there. Even when they got to the restaurant, were seated, and ordered, it was still pretty quiet.

Naruto took a sip of his coke before taking a peek at the three he was having a date with. Bridgette's figure was usually hidden by her hoodie, but wearing the low-cut blue dress she wore for one of the Aftermaths of World Tour showed she had an incredibly toned figure with some respectable cleavage. What interested him the most though was how pretty she had fixed her hair, which was transfixed from her usual ponytail to a bun on her head.

Dawn, in contrast, had her hair up in a ponytail for once. Like Bridgette, she was out of her usual sweater and was in a purple dress. While Bridgette had her beat in athletic body tone and certain sizes, Dawn continued to have a certain aura about her that came off as nothing less than celestial.

Gwen, however, while still pretty in her own right, seemed extremely uncomfortable in her ruffle-filled black dress. Every minute or so, she'd tug at it and try to reposition it, causing her to grimace in frustration.

When the food finally arrived, they continued to be in silence. Naruto looked down at his steak, then at Gwen's chicken fried steak, then to Dawn's vegetable platter, and then to Bridgette's supreme-sized salad. He then looked to them.

_I'm gonna break this silence or my name isn't Naruto Uzumaki._

However, before he could do so, someone beat him to it.

"The aura here is cold and has some nerves in it," Dawn spoke, "That won't be good for our digestive tracts. I recommend that we come out with whatever seems to be throwing the natural spirit of our meal off-track."

Naruto rubbed the back of his head, "Well, I just feel awkward at fancy restaurants. I prefer to eat at ramen stands."

"Ramen stands?" Gwen asked, arching an eyebrow, "I mean, I'll eat some every once in a while, but that often?"

"It's quick and easy, is it not?" Dawn turned from Gwen over to Naruto.

He nodded, "Yep! That's exactly why! Especially since the people back home were really good at making it." He then turned back to Gwen with a teasing smirk, "So. Uncomfortable, huh?"

"Whoever invented dresses should have been tormented to death," was her grim, yet somewhat playful response.

"I'd think dresses would be comfortable...?"

"Trust us," Bridgette finally spoke up to everyone's surprise, "That's why you usually don't see us wearing them."

"I thought you weren't going to speak to us, to be honest," Naruto asked, in shock.

Bridgette looked down for a moment, "I'm probably the one causing things to feel so awkward. It just feels so soon since Geoff and I broke up."

An awkward silence fell over the table again, which was once again broken by Dawn, "I can sense that you want to give this a try either way."

Bridgette widened her eyes at Dawn, flashing red, before finally admitting, "Well... Yeah." She turned to face Naruto, "I could have decided not to come, after all. Or quit when I got here. I mean, the million dollars has always been secondary to me. So don't feel like I'm here just because I have to be."

"Don't worry about it," he replied with a grin, "You seem really cool, so even if you don't win, it'd be pretty nice if we became pals or something."

"You're going to have to see us as more than pals eventually," Dawn took a bite of a tomato before explaining, "I sense that all of us at least want to see if there's a spark. At this table anyway. You do know if any of us do actually fall for you, you'll have to break everyone's hearts but one of ours, right?"

Naruto frowned. He had thought about that. That was the one thing that was holding him back from this whole event. Noticing Naruto's discomfort, Gwen quickly changed the subject.

"So," she said, "How many of you are for saving the whales?"

The others laughed in amusement, even if they all had some want to help the ecological system before now either way. The date went on without a hitch. For that moment, they only saw each other as friends. But they all knew from this point on, the game for a certain fox boy's heart would be on.

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><p><strong>Mansion Confessional<strong>

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><p><strong>Bridgette- <strong>I didn't really want to be a part of this to begin with. **/She looked up at the camera, sternly./ **However, I need to move on. I had way too much fun tonight to just sit around and mope. But I'm not going to be this catty, over-competitive girl either. If my charms help Naruto like me, okay. If not, that's okay too. **/She shrugged./ **I'm not going to work myself up into a tizzy over it.

**Dawn- /Her legs were crossed underneath her./ **I sensed from Bridgette an actual want to try and find love again. I sensed something similar from Gwen, but it also seemed to have a bit of respect and camaraderie mixed in. **/She smiled her enigmatic smile./ **As for me? Well. For now, that's a secret how I feel about Naruto.

**Naruto- /He tapped his stomach once and gave a satisfied grin./ **That hit the spot! **/He sat up straight./ **Man, I'm glad Dawn broke the ice there. It was way too quiet and way too awkward, man. And all three of 'em seem to be really great girls, but... **/He frowned./ **Dawn's right. This whole show is breaking people's hearts. Man. That sucks.

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><p>Back at the mansion, Naruto slipped off his tuxedo and proceeded to change back into his regular jeans. He thought over what Chris had told said prior to the challenge. Before the end of the day, Naruto had to go ahead and eliminate one of the girls from the show. He mentally decided then and there that he needed to try and spend as much time with them as possible. After all, that was only fair.<p>

Before he put his shirt back on, he heard another knock at his door. Absent-mindedly forgetting to put the shirt on, the chisel-bodied boy opened the door to see none other than Sky.

"Hey Naru-" Sky paused, and began to blush, trying to hide the smile curling around her lips.

"Sup, Sky?" he asked, before noticing her staring. He looked down at his shirtless state before turning back to her and jerking his thumb back towards his room, "Uh, if that's distracting, I can put back on my shirt if you want."

She shook her head, "Uh, no. I happen to like athletic bodies... Uh, I mean. Being an athlete, myself." _Nice save, Sky, _she sarcastically thought to herself.

She averted his gaze for a moment before asking, "Well, uh. I was actually wanting to ask you a question."

"Yeah?" he asked, tilting his head slightly, "Shoot."

"Have you seen this show?" she asked, before adding, "Well, before you saved Chris."

He shook his head, "Nah. I don't watch that much television. Cable's an extra bill, y'know?"

"Oh," she breathed a sigh of relief, "Good."

"Why?" he asked out of curiosity.

"Oh, no reason!" she replied, before frowning and saying, "Well, there _is _a reason, but- Ugh. I dunno."

Naruto just arched an eyebrow at the girl, before shrugging and trying to start a conversation with her, "So, uh. What kind of olympic sports do you train for?" He couldn't help but notice that her eyes lit up at that.

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><p><strong>Mansion Confessional<strong>

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><p><strong>Naruto- <strong>Everyone here seems to be hidin' something. **/He rubbed the back of his head./ **I guess the whole dream thing's my own secret, but still. I'm pretty sure Chris McLean planned all of this from the start, but hey. It _is _Total Drama.

**Sky- /She cleared her throat to compose herself./ **Look. I'll tell him about the Dave and Keith thing eventually. Right now, I have nothing to do with either of them anyway. I know what I did to Dave was wrong, but... I'm not doing the same this time. This time I'm actually trying to look for love. **/She suddenly blushed again when she thought of the contestant shirtless again./**

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><p>Chris stood outside of the mansion, beaming at the cameras, "And the tension is heating up! We still have a third left of this episode of Total Drama Romance where Naruto will kick the first contestant out of the house for good! Who will be eliminated first? What sexual tension will flare? Find out... After the break!" With that, the show went on commercial break.<p>

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><p><strong>And there's the second part of the episode. Thoughts? Tell me what you think in a review. We have one more part of this episode to go, but most of the other episodes will only be two parts long.<strong>

**Also, the poll deciding who is going to be eliminated is now up! Go cast your vote and I'll see you guys next time!**


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